In my short lifetime I have had many “BFF” moments. You know, the moment you look at your new buddy and declared that your friendship would last to eternity!
Sure, it’s a nice thought, but let’s face it, finding a friendship that lasts is challenging. Here are a some things to look for in a friend.
1. Friends should lift you up when you are down.
No, your friend is not responsible for your happiness, and I am not suggesting you expect them to make putting a smile on your face their utmost priority.That being said however, a friend is someone who wants to make your world a happier place, and has your best interest at heart. Do you have a friend who consistently drains you of positive energy? If you find yourself feeling depleted after being in the company of someone every time you hang out you have yourself a toxic friendship!
Move on and find someone who actually cares about uplifting and supporting you from time to time! Remember, friendship is a two-way street!
Ask yourself: Do I in some way encourage neediness from my friends? If so in what ways and why? Sometimes, we enable neediness from others so that we feel validated ourselves.
2. Friends who are a good influence.
I am not talking about the friend who encourages you to have a second glass of wine, share a decadent dessert, or stay up past your bedtime once in a while! You need people in your life that help you, live a little! What I am addressing however, is the friend who is constantly sabotaging your best efforts! You know, the one who makes you feel bad about eating healthy in their presence? Yep, that’s the one! Or how about the friend you tells you how lame it is that you are not willing to get drunk with them because its Tuesday and they said so! Although its okay to enjoy being a little reckless once in a while, making it a way of life is self- destructive! Unfortunately this kind of friend is unwilling to accept accountability for their actions in their own life and will not want to see you act responsible in yours either! If they are unwilling to mature properly they will only stand in the way of your growth!
Stand firm on the choices you make for your life! If they are really your friend they will respect and love you for it. (It is even possible that they may become inspired and follow your lead!) If they are not a true friend they will resent the positive changes you are making in your life. Either way you will know whether they are a true friend or not.
3. Your Friends tell you the truth (even when its hard)
This one is so important! Friends are people who tell you when you have something in your teeth, they scold you when you act in a way that is below your moral caliber, they tell you when your new man is inappropriate with them ect! This is not easy! Not only is it hard to say to your friend, it’s also hard to accept sometimes. No matter how tough however, cherish these friends! They love you enough to help you hear the truth, and that is priceless!
If you tend to react negatively in these types of situations ask yourself why? If your friends can’t tell you the truth, then who will you listen too?!? It is dangerous on many levels to isolate yourself from people who will be straight up with you!
On the other hand beware of people who in the name of being “honest” seek to embarrass or humiliate you! These are not your friends, these are “frenimies” drop them like a hot potato!
Well, that’s all for now, good luck finding your next
or whatever the cool kids are calling friendship these days!
Your New BFF!